Page 10:

• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• (pitifully)
• You don’t even care that I got stabbed.


• PENELOPE PENELOPE
• I must’ve slept right through it.


• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• I can’t believe you weren’t there for me.


• Nicholas thinks for a second.


• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• It was you.


• Penelope spits toothpaste into the sink.


• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• It was. Wasn’t it.


• Penelope turns on the faucet and leaves it on.


• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• You stabbed me with a toothpick.


• Abraham Lincoln’s Head sits on the back of the TOILET. The seat is, of course, up. Penelope puts her toothbrush away, gets Abe’s, and starts to brush his teeth.


• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• Why would you do that?


• PENELOPE PENELOPE
• Why would I do what?


• Penelope turns off the water and really starts to get into it with Nick. Abe gets peeved because she stopped brushing his teeth and starts to bounce around. There’s toothpaste all over his face.


• PENELOPE PENELOPE
• You’re crazy. Why would I dress up like a ninja and stab you with a toothpick in the middle of the night? If I wanted to stab you I’d just stab you. I wouldn’t make a big show of it. You know that.


• Nicholas and Penelope stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. Abraham Lincoln’s Head is getting VERY agitated.


• NICHOLAS FREDLAND
• (as Abe’s Head falls into the toilet)
• Hey!